April 28, 2009
My heart hurts the most, there's a void there where my child should be. I know he's better and I wouldn't dream of taking the bliss he is experiencing away from him. But that “I'm still here on earth and he’s not” side of me needs something. I carried him for nine months... nine long months and all I wanted was to hold him in my arms.
I remember saying that so many times to the nurses when I would have to go to the hospital twice every week to have tests done. They would always say "I bet your ready for this to be over with" and all I could say is that "I just want to hold him, to actually have him in my arms" and they would giggle and say "soon enough." The day I had Jack, there was a room full of people and I had only gotten to hold him for a short while and then they took him to clean him up and then everyone else held him and then offered to give him back. I said "no that's okay you go ahead" and all I was thinking, was how I would have forever to hold him. I would give anything to have that day back. So please pray that I will have no regrets or bitterness develop in my heart.
I also wanted to share with you another bit of information. An old high school friend of mine had been staying in Tulsa during Jack's journey (that's what I call it) and we were able to catch up and she had told me that her little girl, Skylar, had been diagnosed with lymphoid cancer, she is only 11 and has undergone more than her fair share of chemo, we were able share our prayers between Jack and Sky before God, and she called today to let me know that Skylar was now in full remission of the cancer, praise God!!
When he is at work in the north, I do not see him; when he turns to the south, I catch no glimpse of him. But he knows the way that I take; when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
Job 23:9-10
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
Sunday, April 26, 2009
last memories
I have set up a memorial website for Jack, jack-isaac-voigt.last-memories.com, and it has a memories page where you can write your memories of Jack. I would be so honored and so pleased if you could take the extra time to write any of the memories you have of Jack or just ways he's touch your life through another.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me to keep this child alive though our memories.
Thank you so much, you have no idea how much it means to me to keep this child alive though our memories.
i catch no glimpse of him
"Even today my complaint is bitter;
his hand is heavy in spite of my groaning.
If only I knew where to find him;
if only I could go to his dwelling!
I would state my case before him
and fill my mouth with arguments.
I would find out what he would answer me,
and consider what he would say.
Would he oppose me with great power?
No, he would not press charges against me.
There an upright man could present his case before him,
and I would be delivered forever from my judge.
"But if I go to the east, he is not there;
if I go to the west, I do not find him.
When he is at work in the north,
I do not see him;
when he turns to the south,
I catch no glimpse of him.
But he knows the way that I take;
when he has tested me, I will come forth as gold.
My feet have closely followed his steps;
I have kept to his way without turning aside.
I have not departed from the commands of his lips;
I have treasured the words of his mouth more than my daily bread.
"But he stands alone, and who can oppose him?
He does whatever he pleases.
He carries out his decree against me,
and many such plans he still has in store.
That is why I am terrified before him;
when I think of all this, I fear him.
God has made my heart faint;
the Almighty has terrified me.
Yet I am not silenced by the darkness,
by the thick darkness that covers my face.
Job 23
Angi
Saturday, April 25, 2009
You go before me and You follow me
You go before me and You follow me,
O LORD, You have searched me and You know me.
You know when I sit and when I rise;
You perceive my thoughts from afar.
You discern my going out and my lying down;
You are familiar with all my ways. Before a word is on my tongue
You know it completely, O LORD.
You hem me in—behind and before;
You have laid your hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
Where can I go from Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to the heavens, You are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, You are there.
If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
even there Your hand will guide me,
Your right hand will hold me fast.
If I say,"Surely the darkness will hide me and the light become night around me,
"even the darkness will not be dark to You;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to You.
For You created my inmost being;
You knit me together in my mother's womb.
I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
Your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
My frame was not hidden from You when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
Your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me were written in Your book before one of them came to be.
How precious to me are Your thoughts,
O God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with You. If only You would slay the wicked,
O God! Away from me, you bloodthirsty men.
They speak of You with evil intent;
Your adversaries misuse Your name.
Do I not hate those who hate You, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against You?
I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139
I read this to Jack before he was born, as he lived and the day he passed.
It was given to me not just by God,
but by someone that was touched by it's meaning and it's true gift of healing.
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
Friday, April 17, 2009
all who call on Him
"For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows." -2 Corinthians 1:5
It's been two weeks since our last update, and though it's been difficult, God has carried us. We've been staying busy, and that helps for a bit, but when we sit still, it's easy to get bogged down in the whys and the what ifs. Please remember us in prayer for this. It's been difficult to accept that God's will and plan would work this way, but with support through prayer we know that God can reveal Himself to us, allowing us the peace that surpasses understanding.
God has also blessed us recently in a different way, and we are anxious to share it with you! Last week, Angi had an ultrasound done on her right leg. Our hematologist wanted to be updated on how the DVT (deep vein thrombosis, or blood clot) in her thigh is doing, if the blood thinners were working to dissolve it or not. Wednesday, we called to check on the results, and the person with whom we spoke said that they were completely gone! At first, we were skeptical, thinking that maybe they had the wrong results. As we talked more about it, we became cautiously optimistic, and the next day, the doctor confirmed that they are gone. Praise God! The next step is for Angi to stop taking the blood thinners, and we'll see if there is any kind of blood disorder or genetic defect that could be in her blood causing these clots. We're especially excited about that part, because for one, the medicine she has been on was giving her uncomfortable side effects, like mild to severe headaches. Plus, when a person is permanently on blood thinners, you always have to be cautious of wounds and bumps, because they're much more dangerous on the medicine. So thank God for this blessing!
Thank you for all the cards and notes expressing care and sympathy. We appreciate deeply the love and generosity that has been sent our way, and we pray God would bless you greatly. Do please continue to pray that we would continue healing and latching on to the Father, and that we would be able to be strong for each other. Pray that as we continue to mourn Jack, that Gaige would not feel neglected, and that we could help him cope as well. And pray against bitterness or jealousy on our behalf.
God has blessed us with so many people in our lives that have helped us and gone through a lot of this with us. But I confess that I, Tony, have managed to not be as grateful as I should for one in particular. My wife, Angi, has been stronger than any woman I have ever known. She was unwavering from the very beginning, like a house built on the Rock. Her faith has grown through this ever stronger, even when I myself had at one point become detached. Frustrated, I stopped praying and thinking about God. And because she is my friend, she rebuked me, loved me, and pointed me to the only One who could rub out the anger. I pray that you are blessed by someone in your life who loves you enough to kick you in the pants when you need redirecting. God has worked through her in my life, and I am so blessed to have her.
I pray that you feel God through all of this, that you would know we are nothing and that He is everything. To him be the glory and honor forever and ever, Amen.
"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." -Psalm 145:18
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
It's been two weeks since our last update, and though it's been difficult, God has carried us. We've been staying busy, and that helps for a bit, but when we sit still, it's easy to get bogged down in the whys and the what ifs. Please remember us in prayer for this. It's been difficult to accept that God's will and plan would work this way, but with support through prayer we know that God can reveal Himself to us, allowing us the peace that surpasses understanding.
God has also blessed us recently in a different way, and we are anxious to share it with you! Last week, Angi had an ultrasound done on her right leg. Our hematologist wanted to be updated on how the DVT (deep vein thrombosis, or blood clot) in her thigh is doing, if the blood thinners were working to dissolve it or not. Wednesday, we called to check on the results, and the person with whom we spoke said that they were completely gone! At first, we were skeptical, thinking that maybe they had the wrong results. As we talked more about it, we became cautiously optimistic, and the next day, the doctor confirmed that they are gone. Praise God! The next step is for Angi to stop taking the blood thinners, and we'll see if there is any kind of blood disorder or genetic defect that could be in her blood causing these clots. We're especially excited about that part, because for one, the medicine she has been on was giving her uncomfortable side effects, like mild to severe headaches. Plus, when a person is permanently on blood thinners, you always have to be cautious of wounds and bumps, because they're much more dangerous on the medicine. So thank God for this blessing!
Thank you for all the cards and notes expressing care and sympathy. We appreciate deeply the love and generosity that has been sent our way, and we pray God would bless you greatly. Do please continue to pray that we would continue healing and latching on to the Father, and that we would be able to be strong for each other. Pray that as we continue to mourn Jack, that Gaige would not feel neglected, and that we could help him cope as well. And pray against bitterness or jealousy on our behalf.
God has blessed us with so many people in our lives that have helped us and gone through a lot of this with us. But I confess that I, Tony, have managed to not be as grateful as I should for one in particular. My wife, Angi, has been stronger than any woman I have ever known. She was unwavering from the very beginning, like a house built on the Rock. Her faith has grown through this ever stronger, even when I myself had at one point become detached. Frustrated, I stopped praying and thinking about God. And because she is my friend, she rebuked me, loved me, and pointed me to the only One who could rub out the anger. I pray that you are blessed by someone in your life who loves you enough to kick you in the pants when you need redirecting. God has worked through her in my life, and I am so blessed to have her.
I pray that you feel God through all of this, that you would know we are nothing and that He is everything. To him be the glory and honor forever and ever, Amen.
"The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." -Psalm 145:18
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
His precious blood
I owe Jesus my life for what He has given my son through salvation and because of what He did "on the Cross of Calvary, Jesus died for you and me; there He shed His precious blood, so that from sin we might be free." Thank you again so much for the time everyone has invested in praying for this wonderful little blessing and thank you also for your continued prayers for our family and friends.
the angels that prayed for my baby
Weston and Will,
I want to thank both of you for your constant prayers for Baby Jack. Our prayers for healing Jack were answered, only better. What more could a mother ask for her child than for her baby to be cared for by Jesus himself. Baby Jack's time as God's soldier was complete, he did everything our Lord needed him to do here, and now He has greater things for him to finish in heaven. I pray you both continue to grow strong in God's word and are embraced by His angels daily.
We love you,
Angi, Tony, Gaige and God's angel Baby Jack
P.S. I think of that song by Mercy Me "I can only imagine" Baby Jack doesn't have to imagine anymore, he's living it now. Just close your eyes and imagine what he is seeing and feeling at this very moment, that's what I do when I get sad. And those thoughts make me smile and it feels like Jack is hugging me. So for me, I celebrate the day Baby Jack went to heaven because that was his real birthday.
I want to thank both of you for your constant prayers for Baby Jack. Our prayers for healing Jack were answered, only better. What more could a mother ask for her child than for her baby to be cared for by Jesus himself. Baby Jack's time as God's soldier was complete, he did everything our Lord needed him to do here, and now He has greater things for him to finish in heaven. I pray you both continue to grow strong in God's word and are embraced by His angels daily.
We love you,
Angi, Tony, Gaige and God's angel Baby Jack
P.S. I think of that song by Mercy Me "I can only imagine" Baby Jack doesn't have to imagine anymore, he's living it now. Just close your eyes and imagine what he is seeing and feeling at this very moment, that's what I do when I get sad. And those thoughts make me smile and it feels like Jack is hugging me. So for me, I celebrate the day Baby Jack went to heaven because that was his real birthday.
Monday, April 6, 2009
jack's memorial
"If the Lord delights in a man's way, he makes his steps firm; though he
stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." -Psalm 37:23-24
Angi and I would like to thank you all for your continued prayer and support. The last 4 days have been a blur, and truth be told, we've been keeping to ourselves. Lots of prayer has carried us, and there have been moments of pain and frustration, but there has also been a lot of joy; daily we remind ourselves that Jack has a new body, a heavenly body free from fault or defect, and that we will indeed see him again. It seems to get harder daily as we see other babies or stumble across something that reminds us of Jack, but God is faithful, and He does not allow us to wander too far from His side.
His memorial service (which can also be read "celebration service!") will
be on Good Friday, April 10th at 11 a.m. at Boulevard Christian Church.
We know that we will both be weeping, but we do not wish for this to be a
depressing funeral. That's not what this is. By the end we hope you will
praise God for the transformation He has brought about in our son.
God bless you greatly.
"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring
me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell." -Psalm 43:3
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
(We've been reading a lot of Psalms. Our favorites are Psalm 18, 23 of
course, 27, 42, 43, 62, 84, 95, 139, and more, I just stopped listing the
rest.)
"For with God nothing will be impossible"
Luke 1:37
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share
His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him with his hand." -Psalm 37:23-24
Angi and I would like to thank you all for your continued prayer and support. The last 4 days have been a blur, and truth be told, we've been keeping to ourselves. Lots of prayer has carried us, and there have been moments of pain and frustration, but there has also been a lot of joy; daily we remind ourselves that Jack has a new body, a heavenly body free from fault or defect, and that we will indeed see him again. It seems to get harder daily as we see other babies or stumble across something that reminds us of Jack, but God is faithful, and He does not allow us to wander too far from His side.
His memorial service (which can also be read "celebration service!") will
be on Good Friday, April 10th at 11 a.m. at Boulevard Christian Church.
We know that we will both be weeping, but we do not wish for this to be a
depressing funeral. That's not what this is. By the end we hope you will
praise God for the transformation He has brought about in our son.
God bless you greatly.
"Send forth your light and your truth, let them guide me; let them bring
me to your holy mountain, to the place where you dwell." -Psalm 43:3
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
(We've been reading a lot of Psalms. Our favorites are Psalm 18, 23 of
course, 27, 42, 43, 62, 84, 95, 139, and more, I just stopped listing the
rest.)
"For with God nothing will be impossible"
Luke 1:37
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share
His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
Saturday, April 4, 2009
half the world away
It's a terrific blessing the way that believers can be connected! We want to thank everyone for their encouragement. The hardest thing for us right now is
knowing what we will be missing, like first steps and first laughs. But we
also know that he will be beyond iv's and blood draws and ventilator
suctions. We are praying for God's comfort, and He has supplied it in many
ways, such as emails from people half the world away! They have kept us going, and
continue to keep us going.
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
knowing what we will be missing, like first steps and first laughs. But we
also know that he will be beyond iv's and blood draws and ventilator
suctions. We are praying for God's comfort, and He has supplied it in many
ways, such as emails from people half the world away! They have kept us going, and
continue to keep us going.
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack.
Friday, April 3, 2009
we've been waiting for you.
Thank you so much for your support!! We all prayed for Jack to be healed, and now he is healed. Please know that this is a celebration. I have learned time and again that the hardships we endure in life only make us appreciate the eternal life we are promised through Christ. So knowing that is the life my son is living now fills me completely with comfort. Can you only imagine the things he is experiencing at this time? I can't wait till I see my Savior holding my son and saying, "Hello, we've been waiting for you."
Angi
Angi
a time to mourn and a time to dance
A time to mourn and a time to dance.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, ...a time to mourn
and a time to dance" -Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Yesterday, at 6:19 p.m., Jack Isaac left my arms and was carried by the arms of Christ. We prayed for his healing and God answered those prayers to the fullest. Jack received the ultimate healing. If there were ever one to take my place and care for my son, I would want it to be Jesus.
Jack was 58 days old. He is still so very loved, not only by us, but by everyone else who prayed for him and thought of him. The unexplained trials we go through in this life allow us to realize how great the promise of eternal life truly is, to know that one day there will be no more tears and no more suffering. My baby is feeling a bliss of a nature I can only imagine. Jack was a very special boy; I watched him endure things that most grown men could not stand. He had a soul that reached out to you and held on. His doctors and nurses were touched by his tenacity and the sheer willpower he exhibited throughout his brief time
period with us. I do not understand God's will or plans. I only know His will is holy, and our minds cannot comprehend it. Tony and I both know that Jack achieved everything God intended for him to do, and we celebrate that he is home. This day is just as much cause for joy as the day he was born, and we praise God for it. We were both so deeply moved by his presence. We are both
better parents, better spouses, better Christians for having known him, and
he will be missed. He will be mourned. He will be loved, now and for
the rest of our lives.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked will I leave. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May His name be praised." -Job 1:21
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity
under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, ...a time to mourn
and a time to dance" -Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Yesterday, at 6:19 p.m., Jack Isaac left my arms and was carried by the arms of Christ. We prayed for his healing and God answered those prayers to the fullest. Jack received the ultimate healing. If there were ever one to take my place and care for my son, I would want it to be Jesus.
Jack was 58 days old. He is still so very loved, not only by us, but by everyone else who prayed for him and thought of him. The unexplained trials we go through in this life allow us to realize how great the promise of eternal life truly is, to know that one day there will be no more tears and no more suffering. My baby is feeling a bliss of a nature I can only imagine. Jack was a very special boy; I watched him endure things that most grown men could not stand. He had a soul that reached out to you and held on. His doctors and nurses were touched by his tenacity and the sheer willpower he exhibited throughout his brief time
period with us. I do not understand God's will or plans. I only know His will is holy, and our minds cannot comprehend it. Tony and I both know that Jack achieved everything God intended for him to do, and we celebrate that he is home. This day is just as much cause for joy as the day he was born, and we praise God for it. We were both so deeply moved by his presence. We are both
better parents, better spouses, better Christians for having known him, and
he will be missed. He will be mourned. He will be loved, now and for
the rest of our lives.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked will I leave. The Lord gives and the Lord takes away. May His name be praised." -Job 1:21
Thursday, April 2, 2009
the Lord gives and the Lord takes away
All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.
Jack Isaac, shared in our lives
February 3, 2009 - April 2, 2009.
"There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to mourn and a time to dance" Ecclesiastes 3:1-4
Jack was 58 days old. He is still so very loved, not only by us, but by everyone else who prayed for him and thought of him. The unexplained trials we go through in this life allow us to realize how great the promise of eternal life truly is, to know that one day there will be no more tears and no more suffering. My baby is feeling a bliss of a nature I can only imagine. Jack was a very special boy; I watched him endure things that most grown men could not stand. He had a soul that reached out to you and held on. His doctors and nurses were touched by his tenacity and the sheer willpower he exhibited throughout his brief time period with us. I do not understand God's will or plans. I only know His will is holy, and our minds cannot comprehend it. We know that Jack achieved everything God intended for him to do, and we celebrate that he is home. This day is just as much cause for joy as the day he was born, and we praise God for it. We were both so deeply moved by his presence. We are both
better parents, better spouses, better Christians for having known him, and he will be missed. He will be mourned. He will be loved, now and for the rest of our lives.
"Naked I came from my mother's womb, naked will I leave.
The Lord gives and the Lord takes away.
May His name be praised." Job 1:21
before you were born I set you apart
"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart"
-Jeremiah 1:5
After much heavy deliberation and prayer, Angi and I have decided to take Jack off the different machines tomorrow morning. They will allow us to hold him, and we will until God takes him from our arms. We know that Christ Himself will carry him home, and that comforts us. We know that "God Himself will be with him. He will wipe away every tear from his eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things will be gone forever." God has blessed us with a child that has changed our lives. He has been so very strong, stronger than I could possibly imagine a two month old child could be. He has revealed to us that no matter how low in Spirit a person can go, He is there. "If I go up to Heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." I pray that if you don't know my Father as the only hope that any of us have for comfort, that you will let Angi and I talk with you about Him. He has been the only stability in this whirlwind we have known, and we would love to share Him with you. He knows you better than you do.
Thank you for your irrepressible support. We value it more than any gift. Please pray that we would be continually comforted and continually reminded that Jack will be in the presence of God. How much better is it to be in the house of God than the house of man. Thank you and God bless.
"We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us." -2 Corinthians 1:7
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
-Jeremiah 1:5
After much heavy deliberation and prayer, Angi and I have decided to take Jack off the different machines tomorrow morning. They will allow us to hold him, and we will until God takes him from our arms. We know that Christ Himself will carry him home, and that comforts us. We know that "God Himself will be with him. He will wipe away every tear from his eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain. All these things will be gone forever." God has blessed us with a child that has changed our lives. He has been so very strong, stronger than I could possibly imagine a two month old child could be. He has revealed to us that no matter how low in Spirit a person can go, He is there. "If I go up to Heaven, you are there; if I go down to the grave, you are there. If I ride the wings of the morning, if I dwell by the farthest oceans, even there your hand will guide me, and your strength will support me." I pray that if you don't know my Father as the only hope that any of us have for comfort, that you will let Angi and I talk with you about Him. He has been the only stability in this whirlwind we have known, and we would love to share Him with you. He knows you better than you do.
Thank you for your irrepressible support. We value it more than any gift. Please pray that we would be continually comforted and continually reminded that Jack will be in the presence of God. How much better is it to be in the house of God than the house of man. Thank you and God bless.
"We are confident that as you share in our sufferings, you will also share in the comfort God gives us." -2 Corinthians 1:7
-Tony, Angi, Gaige, and Jack
Together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory but if we are to share His glory we must also share His suffering.
Romans 8:17
Wednesday, April 1, 2009
our God is a God who saves
"Praise be to the Lord, to God our Savior, who daily bears our burdens. Our God is a God who saves." Psalm 68:19-20
First, the good news. The bleeding at the catheter site has slowed down a great deal! Previously, his bandage would have to be switched every few hours; today, he's had the same bandage since late last night and it hasn't been replaced to this point. It's still clean, too, minus a few areas on the side. So that's really cool!
The bad news is that the doctors have discovered an infection. Dr. Barton believes that there is an infection inside the blood clot, which will be hard to fix. We've started him on antibiotics, and I know that if it's God's will, the infection won't even have time to take root. Also, Jack's blood pressure is still in a state of fluctuation. He's on quite a bit of epinephrine to maintain that pressure, and even with it, it's still not really where we would like it. And thirdly, Jack is showing signs of liver failure. Because he has a form of kidney failure, the blood is backing up into his body, and the doctor says that can cause liver failure, which you can see in his clotting abilities. Granted, his leg is starting to do better than it had been, and that's a good sign, but please pray against it!
The bottom line is that Jack is in a very precarious state. Angi and I still believe 100% that God can save this baby, and that He alone can make Jack whole, praise God. But we also do not want to move the hand of God if He has already decided what Jack's outcome is to be. We love our baby so very much, and want to bring him home, but if God's will is to bring him to His Home, then no amount of fluid or pressure medicine is going to make him better. To that end, we have asked the doctors to implement a DNR, which means Do Not Resuscitate. There are a lot of different forms of this, and the one that we chose means that we do not support any escalation of medication to that which he already given. Our prayer is that Jack will get better on what he has now, and we will progressively wean him off the different medications. I can't tell you how hard it was to make this decision, and we ask that you continue in prayer that we made the right one, and that if God would have us move differently, that he would impress it upon us.
If you could keep praying, we would greatly appreciate it. Right now, Jack has been in a state of semi-consciousness for a bit, and we're afraid that the blood pressure could affect his other organs, including his brain. Please pray against that! We know that God is bigger than any clot and any damage that said clot could bring, but through prayer and petition we know that God can fix it before it happens. Again, please pray that there would be no liver damage, and furthermore that his other organs would be protected. Also pray that the infection would not take root and that there would be no complications from it. Pray that the antibiotics would wipe it out. And pray for us, as well. Pray that we would be able to discern God's will in this difficult time, and that we would be able to have comfort through the Holy Spirit, knowing that either way, God's will is done, and that we can praise Him one way or the other. Pray for Gaige, that he would not blame God for anything that should happen to his baby brother, and that he also would be comforted. And on a tangent, Angi's dad, Mack, is having a back surgery on Friday. Pray that it would go well and that he would, according to scripture, Do not be afraid, just have faith (John 5:36).
God bless all of you for your continued faithfulness to us in prayer. I pray that He would bless you beyond measure.
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So I say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid." -Hebrews 13:5 (Thank you, Will and Weston!)
Tony and Angi
First, the good news. The bleeding at the catheter site has slowed down a great deal! Previously, his bandage would have to be switched every few hours; today, he's had the same bandage since late last night and it hasn't been replaced to this point. It's still clean, too, minus a few areas on the side. So that's really cool!
The bad news is that the doctors have discovered an infection. Dr. Barton believes that there is an infection inside the blood clot, which will be hard to fix. We've started him on antibiotics, and I know that if it's God's will, the infection won't even have time to take root. Also, Jack's blood pressure is still in a state of fluctuation. He's on quite a bit of epinephrine to maintain that pressure, and even with it, it's still not really where we would like it. And thirdly, Jack is showing signs of liver failure. Because he has a form of kidney failure, the blood is backing up into his body, and the doctor says that can cause liver failure, which you can see in his clotting abilities. Granted, his leg is starting to do better than it had been, and that's a good sign, but please pray against it!
The bottom line is that Jack is in a very precarious state. Angi and I still believe 100% that God can save this baby, and that He alone can make Jack whole, praise God. But we also do not want to move the hand of God if He has already decided what Jack's outcome is to be. We love our baby so very much, and want to bring him home, but if God's will is to bring him to His Home, then no amount of fluid or pressure medicine is going to make him better. To that end, we have asked the doctors to implement a DNR, which means Do Not Resuscitate. There are a lot of different forms of this, and the one that we chose means that we do not support any escalation of medication to that which he already given. Our prayer is that Jack will get better on what he has now, and we will progressively wean him off the different medications. I can't tell you how hard it was to make this decision, and we ask that you continue in prayer that we made the right one, and that if God would have us move differently, that he would impress it upon us.
If you could keep praying, we would greatly appreciate it. Right now, Jack has been in a state of semi-consciousness for a bit, and we're afraid that the blood pressure could affect his other organs, including his brain. Please pray against that! We know that God is bigger than any clot and any damage that said clot could bring, but through prayer and petition we know that God can fix it before it happens. Again, please pray that there would be no liver damage, and furthermore that his other organs would be protected. Also pray that the infection would not take root and that there would be no complications from it. Pray that the antibiotics would wipe it out. And pray for us, as well. Pray that we would be able to discern God's will in this difficult time, and that we would be able to have comfort through the Holy Spirit, knowing that either way, God's will is done, and that we can praise Him one way or the other. Pray for Gaige, that he would not blame God for anything that should happen to his baby brother, and that he also would be comforted. And on a tangent, Angi's dad, Mack, is having a back surgery on Friday. Pray that it would go well and that he would, according to scripture, Do not be afraid, just have faith (John 5:36).
God bless all of you for your continued faithfulness to us in prayer. I pray that He would bless you beyond measure.
"Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you. So I say with confidence, the Lord is my helper. I will not be afraid." -Hebrews 13:5 (Thank you, Will and Weston!)
Tony and Angi
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