Tuesday, June 30, 2009

is it real?

It just doesn't seem real, I look at your pictures and ask myself... were you really there? Did I really carry you for nine months or was it all a dream? I still feel your touch on my skin, I still feel the ache in my heart. But did it really happen?

Thursday, June 25, 2009

your soft breath

I remember leaning over you and watching you sleep, and hearing the sound of the ventilator as it captured your breath, allowing it to pull each one in and out of your lungs. You were so strong, you had begun to breath over the machine and it caused a small leak as YOUR actual breath came out around the tube. I leaned over you and you were breathing strong enough to allow me to feel your breathe on my face. It had a soft, sweet smell, I will never forget that moment. It took my breath away, it was pure amazement that I felt and awe at your abilities to over come. The things we take for granted in this life... every moment I had with you, I cherish and always will. I love you Jack.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

part's of healing

Creating these websites in Jack's memory has been one of the strongest parts of healing for me, it allows me to express my gratitude to God for giving me enough time to share in my son's life. Jack Isaac has touched me and continues to touch my life in so many ways. Every bit of effort put forth here on these pages allows me to fill the emptiness left behind. This website allows me continue to see my son everyday until I am healed and can hold him again. I praise God that I have Jack's memories and so I list every detail possible because I don't want to forget a thing.

Tuesday, June 9, 2009

your first cry

I loved the sound of your first cry, I never would have dreamed it would be the last time I would hear it. I remember the short time I got to hold you, you were so soft and cozy. You fit right in my arms so perfect. I shared that with everyone that was in the room that day, I thought I had forever to hold you. If I would just known.. I would have never let you go, I would have held you safe and close forever. I just wanted to protect you.