Thursday, October 29, 2009

The Perfect Butterfly

I want to thank all the nurses, RTs and doctors that took part in my son's life. I'll never forget any of you, especially those that continue to reach out and keep my family in their prayers. Thank you for the effort and thought you put towards the personal gifts, they will be cherished forever.

Be still and know that I am God -Psalm 46:10, was the first scripture put on Jack's Scripture wall. It was the first of many scriptures God would lead us too. But this one was the most important. He was letting us know not to worry that He was in control.

Hours before Jack began his eternal life, I sat down in his room and wrote a quote on a piece of paper that I had seen earlier that week. At the time, it meant that when Jack got better he would be free of this shell (illness) and his life would be in full bloom. Little did I know it meant so much more. As I wrote the words on the note, my heart filled with so much joy for my son, I was overwhelmed with happiness for him. And I knew his journey was complete, no matter how much it hurt, I celebrated for him, I rejoiced with him. His victory was won. I wanted everyone there to understand that this day was to be celebrated even more than the day of his birth. Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly, is what I wrote. I realized in those hours that our life here on earth is the caterpillar and the eternal life we are promised is the butterfly. I left the note for the nurses and on it I asked our Lord to bless everyone that touched my son, whether they kept him alive or if they just checked his pulse. I wanted them all to be blessed. I know some thought of the mistakes made or the things that could have been done different but I know only good intent was in every ones heart no matter what the outcome. So for me to question a doctor or a nurse's decision would be for me to question God's Will because He was in control not man. I never looked to man to save my son, I only looked to God so when my son passed I knew there was nothing that could have been done different. I miss you all. That quote was later added to Jack's memorial presentation card, asking for the Lord to bless all those who prayed for our son as well.

The canvas painting and beautiful butterfly was sent to us from some very special people on the medical staff at St. Francis. I had found the perfect caterpillar in the summer of '09 and was still in search of the perfect butterfly when it arrived.

Thursday, October 15, 2009

your name

Jack Isaac Voigt was named after Jesus' most beloved disciple - Jack is a derivative of John. The Book of John holds a special place in my heart because after years of reading the bible, it took just moments with John to lead me to a personal relationship with Jesus. As for Jack's middle name, God kinda picked that one out, or at least it felt that way to me. Isaac for me represents the story on the mountain where Abraham was told by God to take his only son, whom he loved, Isaac, and sacrifice him as an offering to the Lord. Abraham obeyed, showing his love and fear for God. In return, God spared Isaac by providing an alternate offering to give in the form of a ram caught in the thicket by it's horns. He knew in his heart that God had provided this animal for the sacrifice in place of his son. Therefore, Abraham named the place "The Lord Will Provide." I found this version of the Abraham and Isaac story in a children's bible story book I had bought for Gaige years before. The night I read it, I was so worried about how we would care for our new baby Jack, but after I read Abraham's trial, I worried no more because I knew God would provide. We chose Isaac as Jack's middle name to honor the safety and assurance God allowed us.